Small Moments, a blog about school counseling at Armstrong Elementary School - Small Moments

Introducing Armstrong's Long Term Substitute School Counselor

4/29/2019

Dear Armstrong Parents and Guardians,

In the next few days, I will be heading out on paternity leave as my wife and I welcome the birth of our second child. Fortunately, we have hired a great School Counselor to support the students and families at Armstrong School for the remainder of the year. I would like to welcome Sara Dow. Sara has previously worked in the North Andover school system, and is excited to join our community. She wrote the following statement of introduction, which she would like to share with you.

Hi Armstrong Families!

My name is Sara Dow and I will be the long term school counselor substitute while Mr. Starr is home with his newborn baby. I am very excited and look forward to getting to know all the children, families and staff here at Armstrong. I recently graduated from Cambridge College with a Master’s degree in School Adjustment and Licensed Mental Health Counseling. I have spent many years working with children in different mental health capacities and knew that working in a school environment would be my long term goal. My most recent position was also a long term substitute position in an elementary school. In my free time I love playing and going on adventures with our new kitten and chocolate lab puppy. I look forward to being a supportive and caring face for all the Armstrong students to finish out the year on a strong a positive note!

Sincerely,
Sara Dow
Email: dows@westboroughk12.org Phone: (508) 836-7760

Third Grade English Language Arts MCAS Assessment Next Week

4/3/2019

Dear Third Grade Parents and Guardians,

Next Tuesday and Wednesday, third grade students here at Armstrong will be taking the English Language Arts assessments for MCAS, the Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System. These tests give us as educators a chance to see how we are doing in comparison to other schools throughout Massachusetts.

This week, I am going into third grade classes to discuss MCAS and answer student questions. We are taking time to talk about ways to relax your body during the test, as well as the importance of getting a good night’s sleep and eating a healthy breakfast. We are also reading the book, “The Biggest Test in the Universe,” by Nancy Poydar. It talks about the fictional experience of a student going through his first state assessment.

You can help your child be as prepared as possible for MCAS:

Ask your child about strategies they can use to relax their body during the test. These strategies include:
- Counting slowly
- Taking deep breaths
- Thinking of something that makes you happy
- Brainstorm others to try!

Make sure your child goes to bed at an appropriate time the night before the test. If they are having trouble sleeping, encourage them to use some of the relaxation strategies we talked about in class.

Make sure your child eats a healthy and filling breakfast the morning of the test. This food will provide the energy they need to do their best.

Please make sure your child arrives to school on time. The test will begin promptly at nine, and it is essential that all students are in their classrooms for the test to start.

If you have any questions about MCAS, do not hesitate to contact myself or your child's classroom teacher.

Sincerely,

David Starr
School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH: 508-836-7760, Email: starrd@westboroughk12.org

Kindergarten Belly Breathing

3/13/2019

Dear Kindergarten Parents and Guardians,

This week, we are working on calming down strong feelings. The last time we met, students practiced saying the words "Stop. I feel ______." to name their feeling. They used it to target a range of emotions, including angry, scared, frustrated, and sad. This week, we discussed a special way of breathing called belly breathing. When someone uses belly breathing, they put their hands just above their belly button. Students then breath slowly in through their nose and out through their mouth. Combining these strategies can be effective at helping us to calm down strong feelings.

If you have a moment, please review these strategies with your children. You can even encourage them to try them at home.

Sincerely,

David Starr

School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH: (508) 836-7760 Email: starrd@westboroughk12.org

First Grade Dangerous and Destructive Versus Safe Behaviors

3/13/2019

Dear Kindergarten and First Grade Parents and Guardians,

This week, we are finishing our unit on problem solving in first grade classes. The last time we met, students learned and practiced saying I feel statements to resolve conflicts with peers. As a reminder, I feel statements look like this:

I feel _______ when you _______.

While talking is a great strategy, it is not fair to expect all problems to be resolved by students themselves. For this lesson, we spent time discussing different unexpected things that might happen at school and decided if they are dangerous (someone could get hurt), destructive (something could get broken or ruined), or safe. For problems that are upsetting, but safe, we decided that students can try to solve these problems themselves, perhaps with an I feel statement. In the case of a dangerous or destructive situation, we considered the different adults who might help to solve the problem.

You can support this lesson at home. When your child comes to you for help and the problem is not dangerous or destructive, encourage them to try to solve it on their own first. You can even help them brainstorm ways to solve the problem. Also, consider reviewing dangerous or destructive events that might happen at home, and reinforce that in these situations, it is important for them to find a safe adult to help.

Sincerely,

David Starr
School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH: (508) 836-7760 Email: starrd@westboroughk12.org

2nd, 3rd Grade Problem Solving Continued

3/5/2019

Dear Second and Third Grade Parents and Guardians,

This week, students are continuing their work on problem solving. The last time we met, we learned about and reviewed “I feel” and, in third grade, “you feel” statements. They look like this:

I feel __________ when you ________. I would like you to __________.

You feel _________ when I _________. You would like me to _________.

For this lesson, students continued to work with this problem solving strategy. They brainstormed different I feel and you feel statements they might use to resolve different conflict situations.

Please continue to encourage your children to try this strategy at home. Practice is important for many things, including (and perhaps especially) problem solving.

Sincerely,

David Starr
School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH: (508) 836-7760 Email: starrd@westboroughk12.org

Kindergarten Managing Frustration

2/25/2019

Dear Kindergarten Parents and Guardians,

This week, we are continuing our work recognizing and responding to feelings in our bodies. We are talking about the feeling "frustrated," and are brainstorming times at school when students might feel this way.

As part of this lesson, students are being given the opportunity to practice naming their feeling. They are using the following phrase:

Stop! I feel ___________.

This phrase encourages them to check in and name the feeling they are experiencing. This is an important first step to recognizing when they are experiencing a big feeling, and to begin to consider strategies to feel better.

You can practice this strategy at home. When your child is upset, encourage them to practice naming their feeling using the phrase "Stop, I feel ___________."

Thank you for supporting this important lesson.

Sincerely,

David Starr
School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH: 508-836-7760 . Email: starrd@westboroughk12.org

First Grade I Feel Sentences

2/25/2019

Dear First Grade Parents and Guardians,

This week, we are working on problem solving in K and 1 classes. The last time we met, students reviewed the importance of strategies like taking deep breaths and counting to help calm their body when they are angry or upset. For this lesson, students are starting to learn the words they can say to solve a problem. We are using a modified form of the I feel statement taught in second and third grade. It looks like this:

· I feel _________ when you ________.

Students watched videos of former Armstrong students acting out different problem situations and worked to brainstorm I feel sentences that might help solve the problems. They then wrote their own I feel sentences. By learning to verbalize their feelings and what is causing them to feel that way, our hope is to develop a problem solving foundation with our students that will continue to grow throughout the rest of their time at Armstrong and beyond.

You can use this language to help build your children’s problem solving skills at home as well. When your child has a problem, encourage them to try an I feel statement to help solve it.

Thank you for your help with this important lesson.

Sincerely,

David Starr
School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH: (508) 836-7760 Email: starrd@westboroughk12.org

2nd, 3rd Grade Problem Solving

2/25/2019

Dear 2nd and 3rd Grade Parents and Guardians,

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been working with 2nd and 3rd grade students on using words to solve conflicts. Here at Armstrong, we use a technique called an “I feel” statement. It is a strategy for verbalizing our feelings in a non-confrontational way. An “I feel” statement looks like this:

I feel __________ when you ____________. I would like you to ____________.

In the first blank, put the feeling you are experiencing.
In the second blank, put the action of the other person that has caused you to feel this way.
In the third blank, put what the other person can do differently to solve the problem.

Third grade students also talked about the role of the listener. When someone is angry or upset with us and uses an “I feel” statement, the most important thing we can do is show that we listened. This is even the case when we disagree with what they are saying. To show we heard them, 3rd grade students are being taught “You feel” statements. They look like this:

You feel _________ when I __________. You would like me to _____________.

As part of the lesson, students were asked to create “I feel” and “You feel” statements they could use in response to sample conflict situations. You can try this strategy at home. When your child is feeling angry, sad, or frustrated at a sibling or peer, encourage them to use “I feel” and “You feel” statements. We will continue to practice this strategy over the next few lessons.

Two important reminders:

An “I feel” statement is one tool a child can use to solve conflicts with peers. It will not solve 100% of their problems. If a child has worked hard to verbalize their feelings and is not experiencing success, this is often a great time for an adult to step in and help.
The more neutral their tone of voice, the better chance the strategy will work. We have already talked about using relaxation strategies (taking deep breathes, counting, thinking of something that makes you especially happy) when you are upset. Using these, or even just walking away and waiting to solve the problem, can be helpful for calming your body down before talking to a friend or sibling.

Thank you for your help supporting this important lesson.

Sincerely,

David Starr
School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH: (508) 836-7760 Email: starrd@westboroughk12.org

2nd, 3rd Grade Including Others

1/9/2019

Dear 2nd and 3rd Grade Parents and Guardians,

Here at Armstrong, one of the most important things we can do to help create a strong community is to include others. All students enjoy being part of the group, and often have positive memories of times they were included.

Given that feeling included is important to everyone, we are using our lesson this week to focus on ways to ask to join a group and to generate strategies to make others feel included. Students are working as teams to act out different situations where including another person might be tricky or challenging. In preparing their scenes, they are asked to consider two questions:

How can we ask to join in a way that is kind and flexible?
How can we make it so everyone feels included?

Students did an excellent job of creatively finding solutions to some challenging including problems. If you have a moment, please ask your child to describe their role play and the strategies their team brainstormed to make all students in the group feel included.

Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

David Starr
School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH: 508-836-7760, Email: starrd@westboroughk12.org

K and 1 Feelings

12/11/2018

Dear Kindergarten and First Grade Parents and Guardians,

This week, I am talking about feelings with kindergarten and first grade classes. One of the most important parts of being a kind member of a community is recognizing how other people are feeling and why. As part of our lesson, we spent time discussing different feeling words. We then looked at and practiced feeling faces. Finally, everyone chose a feeling to write about and illustrate.

This year, I am incorporating a program called the Zones of Regulation into our lessons on feelings and conflict resolution in first grade classes. Understanding the feelings that fit into certain zones helps us learn how to respond when we are feeling a certain way. You can see the different zones in the chart attached to this post. We will use this work on feelings when we discuss problem solving over the next several weeks.

Building a feeling word vocabulary is important for everyone, and you can help at home. Try and find opportunities to introduce feeling words into the time you spend with your children. When they are feeling good, help them instead recognize if they are excited, surprised, confident, silly, comfortable, or proud, and what has caused them to feel that way. When they are upset, help them figure out if they are angry, sad, bored, jealous, grumpy, shy, uncomfortable, frustrated, confused, scared, embarrassed, guilty, disappointed, or lonely. Understanding these more complex feelings is an important step to figuring out the cause of the feeling, and if it is something you don’t like, making it better.

Thank you for your support with this important lesson.

Sincerely,

David Starr
School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH: 508-836-7760 Email: starrd@westboroughk12.org