Small Moments, a blog about school counseling at Armstrong Elementary School
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Types of Problems

2/26/2015

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Dear Kindergarten and First Grade Parents and Guardians,

This week, we are finishing our unit on problem solving in K and 1 classes.  Last time we met, students learned and practiced saying I feel statements to resolve conflicts with peers.  As a reminder, I feel statements look like this:

I feel _______ when you _______.

While talking is a great strategy, it is not fair to expect all problems to be resolved by students themselves.  For this lesson, we spent time discussing different unexpected things that might happen at school and decided if they are dangerous (someone could get hurt), destructive (something could get broken or ruined), or safe.  For problems that are upsetting, but safe, we decided that students can try to solve these problems themselves, perhaps with an I feel statement.  In the case of a dangerous or destructive situation, we considered the different adults who might help solve the problem.    

You can support this lesson at home.  When your child comes to you for help and the problem is not dangerous or destructive, encourage them to try to solve it on their own first.  You can even help them brainstorm ways to solve the problem.  Also, consider reviewing with them dangerous or destructive things that might happen at home, and reinforce that in these situations, it is important for them to find a safe adult to help.

Sincerely,

David Starr
School Counselor, Armstrong Elementary School
PH:  (508) 836-7760      Email:  starrd@westboroughk12.org

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Explaining Death to a Child

2/24/2015

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Periodically, parents and guardians contact me to ask for suggestions on talking to their children about the death of a loved one.  Often, it is an aging family member.  Other times, it is a cherished pet.  Sometimes, the loss is unexpected.  In response, I usually make the following recommendations:

  • Be honest.  Children, like adults, appreciate being told the truth.  
  • Answer questions, but be willing to say, "I don't know."  
  • It's ok for you to be sad.  I think children find it validating to see the adults in their life express emotion when upsetting things happen.
  • Talking about death is uncomfortable and scary.  However, I often find that children take upsetting news better than we expect, and usually better than we do ourselves.  

I'm interested in hearing your experiences explaining death and loss to a child.  Have you had to do it?  What did you find worked well?  What was the hardest part?  How did you feel after the conversation?  Please consider sharing your experiences by clicking on the comment link below this post.   
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Kindergarten and First Grade Problem Solving

2/12/2015

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Dear Kindergarten and First Grade Parents and Guardians,

Over the past couple of weeks, we have been working on problem solving in K and 1 classes.  The last time we met, students learned to take three deep breaths or count to 10 when they are angry or upset.  For this lesson, students learned the words they can say to solve a problem.  We used a modified form of the I feel statement taught in second and third grade.  It looks like this:

· I feel _________. 

Or

· I feel _________ when you ________.

For this lesson, students worked to write I feel statements they might use to solve different problem situations.  The pictures in this post show the work by two first grade students, Riddhisha and Jesse.  By learning to verbalize their feelings and what is causing them to feel that way, my hope is to develop a problem solving foundation with our students that will continue to grow throughout the rest of their time at Armstrong and beyond. 

You can use this language to help build your children’s problem solving skills at home as well.  When your child has a problem, encourage them to try an I feel statement to help solve it.  If you find they have a problem solving success or if you have any questions, please consider sharing them in the comments section of this blog post.  My hope is to give you as parents a forum to share your successes and challenges at home. 

Thank you for your help with this important lesson.

Sincerely,

David Starr

Picture
Picture
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The Power of our Words and Actions

2/12/2015

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Dear Second and Third Grade Parents and Guardians,

Over the past couple of weeks, we have been finishing our unit on problem solving in second and third grade classes.  For this lesson, we thought about the role each of our actions has to change how others feel.  When we do what is expected of us, we make the people around us feel happy, safe, and comfortable.  For the most part, people like us when we do what is expected.  When we do what is unexpected, we make others feel unhappy, upset, even unsafe.  By connecting our actions to the feelings of others, my hope is to help our students understand the power of their words and behaviors on those around them.  We will use this conversation as a jumping off point for our next unit on bullying.

At home, I would encourage you to find opportunities to help your children link their actions to the feelings of those around them.  If you have any successes, challenges, or questions, please consider sharing them in the comments section of this post.  


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    Author

    David Starr is the School Counselor at Armstrong Elementary School in Westborough, MA.

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